Cars and iPhones
by Snoopcatt
Summary: What happens when the characters end up in modern times? From twerking to burgers to cars, anything is possible. Rated T for Wang Yu eating In 'n Out. R&R please. (:


**Hey. This is my first time to write EK fanfic. I want to tell everybody that I have NEVER EVER wrote a K-Drama fanfic. I've written fanfic for Anime/Manga and Books. But never K-Drama. ESPECIALLY one of those kingdom/palace type of fanfic. So, pardon my awful writing. Another thing, is that this is going to be a HUMOR/CRACK story. Not some WangNyanCat love story. Sorry, I can't write that stuff. I'll try sometime but ehhhhhhhh. As you can see, this story is placed in MODERN TIMES (hence the title, duh) I am going to try my best to update as fast as possible. You can also see that this is one of the very very very few Empress Ki fanfic. I am hoping to inspire all y'all readers out there to also start writing EK fanfic. Like, there seriously need to be more. MOAR. Yerp. Well, here goes something. As you will soon see, my writing style is a bit unorthodox. Especially because this is a crack story.**

**Oh yeah, and also**

**Tahwan=Togon=Emperor**

**El Temur=Yeon-chul= Regent**

**Tankshit=Tanqishi=Dangquishi=son of El temur**

**Tap-a-head=Tapjahae=brother of Tankshit=son of el temur=Talahai=Talailai**

**Wang Yu=Wang Yoo=Wang Yu Gong=Wang Yoo Gong**

**Byung Soo= Yom= The guy who loves Lady Yon's lips**

**Bi soo= Yon Feisu= The girl with the weirdo sidebangs**

**Bang= Eunuch Bang=The pretend beggar**

**Johkho=Jokho=Makaeng=Some old dude**

**OH MY GERD THESE MIXED UP NAMES IS ANNOYING MEEEE.**

**Also: The purpose of this story is not to diss the actors or anything like that. It is just a crack-fic, no disrespect intended.**

_Back in the old times_

"ABDICATE!" El Temur was yelling. "You can all see, governors, that the Emperor cannot rule."

Poor Ta-hwan was on the verge of giving up when there was this huge loud boom and the entire room started spinning. Smoke filled the air and everyone was coughing.

_Modern. In Los Angeles_

"Mommy! Look! The drummer with the bucket!" yelled a little kid, pulling her tired mother towards a street performer. The mom sighed and followed after her daughter. They were 5 feet away from the drummer when these people fell from the sky.

The weird people got up and started coughing.

"ABDICATE! ABDICATE!" El Temur was still shouting whilst coughing.

"What is this?" yelled Baek-Ahn.

"Yes. What is this?" asked one of the random governors.

Obviously, Sungnyung was the only smart one in the place.

"This must be the FUTURE." she proclaimed.

The governors all stared into the sky. "Oooohh. The FUTURE."

"Yes the future," said Sungnyung.

"OOHHHH. THE FUTURE," the governors were all gasping and clutching at their chests.

_EPIC TIME SKIPPPP!_

Bang and Jokho had nabbed enough money from random street performers. The money totaled together was close to over $490.

Togon pulled out some gold. "I could sell this. Then Nyang-ie and I can get one of those wheeled thingies and we can make Wang Yu super jealous and it will be awesome."

Tanasiri got mad. "HOW DARE YOU. First you ignore our baby Maha and now you want to get those wheeled thingins and run off with that HUSSY."

Sungnyung clapped her hands together. "First of all. We will explore and observe. We will sell some of the gold to get the correct currency. We will learn to attempt to fit in and then we will try to survive in this future."

Everyone clapped and cheered. Except for El Temur and Co.

_1. Modern Words_

Sungnyung hit a pencil against a whiteboard. "Everyone! Today we will be looking at modern language. The first word: TWERK."

Sungnyung turned the projector on and and opened the computer. The video was on Vine. She pressed the play button.

A woman in yoga pants was shaking her butt. Yeon-chul was drooling and Togon had blood running down from his nose. Wang Yu had fainted.

"I SHALL BE LIKE THAT!" yelled Tanasiri. She got up and started twerking. Everyone started throwing up from disgust. Then Sungnyung got up and began twerking. Everyone puked out rainbows. Tankshit had a hand in his pants… and Yeon-chul had to run out the room for some strange reason.

_2. Cars_

"This is the gas pedal, this is the clutch, this is the brake, blah blah blah," said Sungnyung.

El Temur and Co were all standing next to the car and giggling.

"And- and then we'll run them over!" giggle Yeon-chul.

Tankshit giggled and hugged Yeon-chul. "Father that is the best plan on Earth!"

Meanwhile Togon and Inc were also discussing something.

"We can run them over," Miss Dowager was saying.

"That's wonderful!" said Togon. "The we can toss the corpses into the trunk!"

Togon and Inc all hopped into a Silver Hummer. They didn't realize a red Toyota mini-van was gaining speed behind them.

"Oh my holy Ayushiridahdah!" screamed Empress Dowager as she finally noticed the Toyota. The horrendous Yeon-chul face was pressed against the windshield. It was a good thing though, that El Temur and Co hadn't been listening to Sungnyung car tutorial. The red Toyota veered sharply to the right, narrowly missing the Hummer. Unfortunately, it hit a small Fiat, with all the governors inside.

"How did they all fit?" wondered Togon.

"I've heard they all took ballet lessons from Tal Tal. Which is why they are so flexible," said Sungnyung.

"That's great."

Meanwhile, it was complete chaos inside the Toyota for El Temur and Co.

"Father, do you know what left is?!" yelled Tap-a-head.

"Yes! Of course I do!" Yeon-chul screamed back. He raised his right hand.

"I'll kill those bastards once and for all!'yelled Yom as he shoved El Temur into the back seats.

"You squished Maha!" howled Tanasiri as El Temur fell on top of Maha.

"Whatever," snapped Yeon-chul. "Full speed ahead!"

The Hummer was already miles ahead of them. Yom pressed on the gas pedal.

"We are going so fast we are not even moving!" he declared. El Temur and Co cheered.

They all sat in the car for 3 hours straight before Tanqishi realized what was wrong.

"You, YOU IDIOT! The key isn't even in!" Tankshit cried.

El Temur and Co gasped.

"Oh, here's the key," said Yeon-chul, pulling the key out from his pocket.

Tapjahae and Tanqishi facepalmed so hard they broke their hands.

_In some random I 'n Out, Los Angeles_

"This is amazing!" Bang was saying as he shoved his face with cheeseburgers.

Wang Yu took a sip of his Cola and his eyes bugged out. "What is this?"

Suddenly, a gigantic Hummer smashed through the glass windows of the fast food joint.

"Yay!" sang Moo-Sung as he saw Sungnyang.

Wang Yu pulled out pom poms and started cartwheeling around.. "Sungnyang! Sungnyang! Give me an S! Give me a U! Give me an N!' Give me a G!" Give me an-!"

Tal Tal picked up Wang Yu and Co and tossed all of them into the backset.

"Sit and shut up," said Baek-Ahn. "We just picked ya'll up because we thought you looked so pitiful eating those cheap foods."

"But the burgers were good," defended Wang Yu.

"Whatever," said Golta. "We are going to run over El Temur's clan."

"OOHHH! I can help!" yelled Wang Yu.

_Back in the Toyota_

"MY HAND!" screamed Tankshit and Tap-a-head.

"When I see that Hummer, I will charge full speed at it!" yelled Yeon-chul. A random silver Hummer passed, with a family of four inside.

"YAHHHH!"shrieked Yeon-chul as he drove at 200mph towards the Hummer.

_*crash scream crash*_

_In the Hummer_

"There! A red Toyota!" yelled Tal-Tal.

"3-2-1-YAH YAH YAH!" screamed Togon.

Wang Yu was hugging Baek-Ahn. Bacon didn't like Wang Yu so shoved him out the Hummer.

**The end conclusion: Never let Empress Ki characters steal your car. **

**Ok, there's the first chapter. SHOUTOUT to Exoskeleton(don't know if I spelled that correctly) Thanks to Exoskeleton, the EK archive was started up. Anyway, we NEED contributors! If you want to write an EK fanfic, PLEASE do! Anything will help to start up the archive popularity! Review and thx for reading! I know it was a little weird, but yeah… If you have an idea please tell me!**


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